Part of our Companion Communication Guide series.
Why screening exists, and who it protects
Independent companions work without the structure of an agency or other people to govern their activity, so screening is one of the few tools available to confirm a new contact is who they say they are and is approaching the conversation respectfully. It is a precaution, not an accusation of dishonesty, so please don't feel attacked if your provider asks you for screening.
From the guest's side, working with a companion who screens carefully is actually a good sign: it usually means she takes her own safety, discretion, and professionalism seriously, which tends to translate into a better overall experience. From the provider's side, it means the provider cares to avoid seedy types such as potentially violent criminals, and to also keep safe from anyone who may be trying to misconstrue their work for something it is not (escorting is not necessarily the exact same thing as prostitution, which is a common mistake many people - including those in law enforcement - tend to make). To put it another way, providers are just trying to stay safe, and not end up as the next missing person featured on a Netflix true crime documentary!
What reasonable screening looks like
Reasonable screening is proportionate and discreet: a name, basic contact details, and sometimes a reference or a way to confirm you're a real, verifiable person. It should never feel invasive, and any information shared is handled privately and disposed of once the arrangements have been confirmed. Sometimes, a provider may ask for a picture of your driver's license or state ID, with only the picture, date of birth, and your name visible or not blotted out / redacted. This proves you're an adult over the legal age in your territory, and also proves that you're a real person who has been truthful about who you say you are. Many guests may feel uncomfortable sharing their ID with a provider, and that's understandable; however, if that is how you feel, be prepared to face possible rejection of your arrangement if you can't satisfy that need. If you do feel the need to decline sharing an ID, say something such as "I don't feel comfortable sharing my ID, is there anything else I can do instead that would make you feel safe?" This can go a long way towards salvaging a discussion from going sideways.
If a screening request ever feels excessive or improperly used, it's reasonable to ask why it's needed or to step back from the conversation. Mutual comfort goes both directions, and both the guest and the provider need to feel safe if the arrangement is going to ever happen. Just try to remember to keep the tone respectful, and even if an agreement over verification can't be made, walk away with no hard feelings and the provider likely will as well.
Simple habits that make any meeting safer
Confirm the scheduling and arrangement details in writing (over messages) before meeting, share your general plans ("I'm going out on a date tonight") with someone you trust, and trust your own instincts; if something feels wrong before or during a date, it's always okay to leave or end things early. Likewise, providers should have a support system of friends that they can also rely on for such safety, and let their friends know when they're going to see a guest. Both the guest and the provider can benefit from setting up a check-in system with someone, so that if something goes wrong during the date, someone you know becomes aware of the missed check-in.
For companions: working from a consistent location when possible, keeping a trusted person aware of your schedule, and never feeling obligated to continue a date that feels unsafe are all reasonable, standard practices. For guests: confirming location details, doing a check of the immediate area where you've arranged to meet your provider, and/or confirming you're talking to your actual provider by requesting exchange of messages via their established socials (Instagram, X, OnlyFans, Fansly, or others) can also be helpful.
Deposits: why they exist, and when they are appropriate
So you've been told by the companion you wish to hire that they charge a deposit before they can meet or reserve the time for you. This is honestly a legitimate thing to ask; but as the saying goes, a few bad apples spoil the bunch, and many times, deposit requests can be scams. There really is no way to verifiably prevent the scammers from scamming. But, at the same time, many legitimate providers practice charging a deposit, and they do it for very good reasons.
One of those reasons is to protect their time and their investment in the arrangement. Many providers use makeup products, take additional showers, put on specific clothes that are either fancy or sexy or formal, and all of these things cost a lot of time and/or a lot of money. Most providers need advance notice before meeting for this reason as well - typically at least two hours, if not three, is appropriate if possible and not all providers will be able or willing to meet on short notice. That said, many guests have no idea how many people will "set up" an arrangement, only to ghost the provider or flake out at the last minute, after all the time, effort, and costly products have already been used in preparation for the arrangement. Thus, many providers will charge a deposit to cover this cost in case of flakes or time wasters, and to filter out people who aren't genuinely serious about scheduling a meetup.
At the same time, this doesn't mean a guest should just blindly hand over money to a stranger any time they ask, just because they're asked to. It's both fair and reasonable that a guest may want some sort of reassurance that they aren't going to lose out on their money for nothing. One of the things that can be done is a request for a video call, via some kind of established platform (Facebook Messenger, Snapchat, etc) or via a video call app (FaceTime, Google Meet, Duo, Zoom). This actually has mutual benefit for both parties: they get to see the face of the other person with whom they're making an arrangement, and it can last even as little as a few seconds in some cases. So, for very little effort and time on the part of both parties, a helpful layer of security and reassurance can be had. For guests, this is not an open invitation to be explicit over video call, nor is it the time to ask to see anything other than your provider's face, long enough to verify they are indeed the person that was seen in the ad. This can also help a provider verify that it is the person they saw in the requested selfie or photo ID that was sent to them for screening. If a provider refuses to do a live video call before the guest sends any kind of payment, this is a potential red flag. Some legitimate providers may simply be averse to video calling without compensation for time, but again, it takes very little time or effort to complete in order to reassure guests they're paying someone legitimate. Even at that, there is no guarantee that the real person behind the ad isn't scamming anyways! But that is why the guest reserves the right to refuse to pay a deposit, and the provider reserves the right to not see guests who refuse a deposit - no hard feelings either way. The arrangement should always be about the mutual comfort of all parties involved.