Part of our Companion Communication Guide series.
What to include in your first message
A strong introduction usually includes your name (it ought to be your real name for several reasons - the least of which making any screening process easier), your preferred date and time for the arranged meetup, the duration you have in mind, whether you're thinking it should be an incall or outcall date, and a very general, very vague, very non-sexually-explicit description of the kind of time together you're looking for: a dinner date, a private date, or a more relaxed social occasion, for example.
Including these details up front saves both sides time and signals that you've thought it through rather than sending a copy-paste message. Also, this is something that's been said all throughout the articles, but it really cannot be stressed enough or overstated: respect is paramount to securing your date with your provider, and avoidance of sexually explicit talk and avoidance of asking for sexual favors in exchange for cash is absolutely critical. The respect part is just common sense; but the non-explicit rule is about protection for both parties. If you're seeking prostitution, that's extremely risky, and you could be setting yourself up to be put in trouble with law enforcement.
Even talking in "codes" about what you want isn't safe, nor is "verifying" by exposing yourself to your provider at their request. In any of these cases, either person on either end of the arrangement could secretly be law enforcement, and they are allowed to use deceptive tactics in order to achieve their goals - particularly if they are undercover or operating a sting. Asking for explicit favors in exchange for payment could land you in trouble. Even if you get a provider to actually agree to a date like this, they would be taking a huge risk that you as the potential client are secretly law enforcement, trying to set up a sting. Neither of you have any way of knowing until it's too late, so if you have adult activities in mind, be careful - because while it's fine to pay for someone's time, and then let whatever happens occur naturally as you get to know each other during that time, even the implication that all you want is sexual favors could be enough to land you in hot water. Moral of the story? Keep all communications clean and free of any sexual or dirty talk. Besides... the majority of providers don't like that sort of thing anyways, believe it or not!
Tone matters more than length
Polite, direct, and a little warm goes further than anything overly formal or overly familiar. There's no need to over-explain yourself or apologize for reaching out; a confident, respectful tone is the easiest one to respond to well. No need to go into your whole life story. A brief explanation surrounding your current circumstances (for example: "I'm here for a week traveling for work, saw your ad and it caught my eye") is fine. But essentially your first communication should be strictly business. Think of the initial communication like you would any other communication to a business providing a service. If you were hiring someone to: pick up, wash, and fold your laundry; clean out your garage and dispose of clutter; walk your dogs; or any other number of professional services, providers expect the same type of courtesy and first message as any of those examples. The one way you can almost never go wrong is to keep it simple: full name, day and time you'd like to arrange to meet, the requested duration of the meet, whether it is incall or outcall, and offering to comply with any screening process can go a long way for you.
In addition to avoiding the aforementioned explicit language, demands, or pressure of any kind, avoid rudeness or having an attitude. Just like any other business operator, escorts and independent companions reserve the right to refuse service to anyone! Not only this, but you shouldn't make assumptions about them "needing" your money. Rest assured, any provider who has been even remotely successful and is pricing themselves properly has dozens of inquiries every week, and of those only a select few are chosen. Why should you be chosen? What makes you stand out? And even if you don't stand out or the provider is having a slow period, why would anyone say or do anything to get themselves rejected by a provider? Keep that in mind, as they don't need your money as badly as you might think. Independent companions decline messages like this for good reason, and it's also simply not the right way to start any respectful conversation.
A couple of examples
Something like these would be appropriate:
"Hi, I'm [name]. I'd love to set up a dinner date this Thursday evening, around 7pm, for about 3 hours if you're available. Happy to share more details for screening, just let me know what you need from me."
"Hi hun! My name is [name]. I'm [age] years old, respectful, and willing to do whatever you need for your screening process. I'd like to see you on Friday evening, around 6pm, for an outcall for a private date for about an hour or 90 minutes if you have the time. Thanks!"
"Hello [provider name], I'm [name]. I want to know if you're available on Saturday for about 2 hours for an outcall to a formal party I have to attend. It's expected for me to have a plus-one and I don't want to show up without one, and thought you'd be the perfect fit. Let me know if you're available and I can go over the details."
Messages like these cover the basics clearly and respectfully. On the other side of the coin, here are some examples of very poor messages that are sent to providers all too often, and are likely to cause headache-inducing eye rolls:
"Hi" and that's it. Or anything like it: "Hru," "wyd," "wassup," and other one word or one-liner openings are a no-no and often are the sign of a time waster who won't actually wind up booking an appointment.
"My god you're so beautiful/gorgeous/sexy/etc., I'd love to get to know you!" This is a booking arrangement, not a dating service - if that's the kind of conversation you want to have, go download a dating app and shoot your shot there.
"Hey. Can I get a [insert sexual favor here]?" This is likely to get you almost immediately blocked.