Part of our Companion Communication Guide series. NOTE: We repeat here for clarity - this page is general guidance, not legal advice; see our Terms of Use for the full legal framework that governs this site.
Ask about time, not specifics
A respectful request focuses on the kind of time you're hoping to spend together: a dinner date, a private date, a social occasion, the date and time, and the duration. It does not ask for or describe any specific act, which is neither appropriate nor lawful to request from an independent companion.
If you're ever unsure how to phrase something, default to talking about your time together in general terms and let the rest of the conversation unfold naturally once screening and mutual comfort are established. Always make sure you and the provider are comfortable, and remain respectful at all times.
What a clear, well-written request includes
A complete request usually covers your preferred day and time, how long you'd like to spend together, whether you're thinking incall or outcall, and what kind of date you have in mind (again, without anything sexual or explicit; an example might be "dinner date," "social event," or "private date"). From there, rates and availability are typically discussed privately once screening is underway.
Avoid asking about specific services, making demands about what's included, or pressuring for a quick answer. Independent companions set their own boundaries, and a request that respects those boundaries is far more likely to lead to a confirmed date. Furthermore, as a reminder, never attempt to negotiate the prices a provider gives you, as this is a sure-fire way to be rejected by the provider and lose out on the arrangement.
What happens after you ask
Nothing is confirmed by sending a request alone. Expect screening, a conversation about availability and details, potential discussion of a deposit, and mutual agreement before anything is locked in. Deposits, if requested, should only come after the other details are settled, never before. As a hint, it's usually a good sign if the provider doesn't ask for a deposit until the arrangements are set, and it's usually a bad sign if a deposit is the first thing they mention and/or they refuse to talk about anything else until it's paid.
If a request is declined, it's rarely personal; companions decline for all kinds of reasons including availability, comfort, screening outcomes, or simple scheduling conflicts. A respectful, well-phrased request is still always the right way to start. Naturally, blatant disrespect or attempts to low-ball the provider may result in more personal, and likely equally disrespectful replies.